Every day is torture and we need closure

Allan Bryant's parents prepare for the first anniversary of his disappearance.
Allan Bryant's parents prepare for the first anniversary of his disappearance.
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The parents of Allan Bryant prepare for the first anniversary of his disappearance

“It’s hard to even begin to imagine the sense of dispair and anguish we’ve felt in this last year, life has been a living hell, a daily nightmare.”

The words of Allan Bryant Snr as he continues to busy himself with preparations for Sunday evening’s candle-lit vigil being held outside the Glenrothes nightclub where his son was last seen one year ago.

By all accounts it was a normal night out for Allan (23) as he went drinking with friends.

It has now become Police Scotland’s biggest ever missing person enquiry conducted in Fife. The young Glenrothes man left the club - and hasn’t been seen since.

“That’s what makes it even harder to bear - we are a close family and he was a good lad, we can’t understand what has happened,” Allan Snr explained.

Marie Dugan and Allan Snr talk of the fear that they may never find out what happened to their son and the prospect of never achieving closure hangs heavy on every spoken word as the family continue to muster the strength to face every new day in the hope that someone comes forward with that piece of evidence, that sighting, that memory that triggers a breakthrough.

“Every day I wake up thinking this could be the day that he is found, but at the same time the agonising thought that we may never know what happened or where Allan is,” mum Marie explained.

“Even now seeing Allan’s image throughout the town on the banners and posters, it’s still not fully sunk in and won’t for some time yet, I almost can’t believe that it is our boy that has gone missing.”

She clings to the belief that, if there is to be some sort of closure and an end to the family’s nightmare, it will be soon.

“I do think that if we are going to find out just what has happened to our son that the news will come this year. The extensive investigations and the events may just make someone come forward with that vital piece of information that finds him,” she added.

“Weekends are the worst. Even a year on there’s still a part of us that expects him to walk through the door. The house has lost a bit of its soul because he’s not here,” added Allan Snr.

“Everyday is torture for this family and we need closure now.

‘‘We know now that we are not going to get good news but we need to know what has happened to Allan.”

Despite preparing themselves for the worst, the family have continued to worked tirelessly to keep their son’s disappearance in the forefront of the public’s conciousness and Allan Snr says he will never give up the fight.

A march through the town attracted hundreds of Glenrothes folk who feel a sense of collective loss and hurt concerning the family’s plight.

They say they have been overwhelmed by the support both from within Glenrothes, which at times Allan Snr says have kept them going, but also from across the UK and since Marie’s appearance on ‘This Morning’ on ITV.

And with an active Facebook page dedicated to keeping Allan in the public eye now attracting over 11,000 followers, the missing man’s father says it’s the least they can do.

“Life had been suspended and we need closure so that we can move on. We need peace.

“This pressure that has built up as we near what will be the first anniversary has been unbearable at times,” he explained.

“But the public have kept us going and we can’t thank them enough.”

Candlelit vigil for Allan

A candle-lit vigil takes place outside Styx nightclub in Glenrothes on Sunday, November 2 at 6.30 p.m.

The family expect as many as 600 to attend.

Support has come from as far away as Aberdeen and Stonehaven and even south of the border in England.

Those attending are invited to light a candle for Allan, the family will address those in attendance and a film consisting of many family photographs of Allan throughout his life will be projected onto the wall of the club.

As I prepare to leave it’s Allan Snr’s final comment that defines the strength and humility of his family as they face each new day without their son. 
“Every day is torture like you wouldn’t believe, but we stay strong and will continue to fight for our son’s return, no matter what and no matter for how long.”