My Week - with Maggie Millar

Maggie Millar
Maggie Millar
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HAPPINESS is a fleeting feeling, is it not? It would be unreasonable to expect to be in a constant state of delirious delight - and nothing teaches you that fact more than children. Packed my two youngsters, aged three and 18 months, off to Burntisland funfair at the weekend where they spun on the carousel, stuffed their faces with sweets and had a jolly old time. There I was, proud parent, basking in the glow of being the “ultimate mum” whose children’s faces were the postcard-perfect picture of joy until...“I want to go on the roaster coaster!” You can’t darling, your sister is too young. “I want to go on the bumper cars then.” Ditto. Cue major tantrum meltdown and stressed out mother driving back to Kirkcaldy with two screaming kids behind her. Family days out can be such fun eh? You could say that life is, indeed, a roaster coaster.

Life of Riley: Talking about clan antics, there’s one lot I just can’t seem to escape right now,.. yup, our esteemed Royal family. Now don’t get me wrong, the Queen has served 60 years on the throne without a foot out of place or even a public ‘tut!’ at Prince Philip’s gaffes. But, for me, it’s hard to muster up respect for her younger relations, Princess Anne excluded. What does Prince Andrew actually do to deserve taxpayers’ money, other than take his ex-wife abroad for regular holidays? Poor Charles, he’s the longest serving Prince of Wales in British history and, thanks to first-class healthcare bolstered with regular gin and Dubonnets, the Queen will still be hanging on in there when he becomes an octogenarian. They are a pretty dysfunctional (read normal) lot but their public exposure makes them look faintly ludicrous, even cartoonish - not to say ruddy expensive. Do we really need a replacement monarch after the Queen’s reign ends? I don’t think so.