Restrictions on funerals changing on almost daily basis

Losing a loved one is never easy, but the ongoing effects of the lockdown has added further complications to the time-honoured tradition of saying goodbye.

While other local authorities, such as Aberdeen City Council, have closed crematoriums, Fife families are still able to attend funerals, though in greatly reduced numbers.

Just six mourners are currently permitted at any service, and while families understand why this must be the case, it doesn’t make the healing process any easier.

Shelia Matthew Milne, Kirkcaldy-based managing director at Crosbie Matthew Funeral Directors says that the funeral industry has had to adapt to almost changes in guidelines on services.

But she said said that at the heart of all the changes, safety is the primary concern.

She said: “We’re been updating our website daily with updates on the latest developments.

“There’s not a day gone by that we haven’t changed something we do.

“We’re buying so much personal protective equipment at the moment, and that’s quite tricky because it’s not always in stock.

“Obviously we have to keep our staff safe and hopefully keep everyone working.”

The basic processes behind any funeral have also changed.

Sheila added that much work now has to be done remotely, even registering a death has changed.

“The registrars are all working from home so you ring the number, they make an appointment to register the death with the family and phone them back.

“Likewise, we, like most funeral directors, are doing arrangements over the phone, or via any online platform if they want a visual chat.

“Although we’re working in the office, our doors are locked.

“We’re doing everything by appointment only.

“If paperwork is to be signed then families come by at an arranged time.

“There’s also an emergency measure now, if the family aren’t able to sign documents, for example, the nearest relative is unwell, then we’re able to write a declaration and the paperwork goes in unsigned to the crematorium.

“So that’s quite a big change they has been put into place to allow things to run as smoothly as they can.”

On the day of a funeral, Sheila says that there are further changes which go beyond the restrictions on the number of attendees.

She said: “The crematorium are saying a maximum of six people at a service at Kirkcaldy and Dunfermline crematoriums. It’s the same for a burial.

“There’s no carrying the coffin in because it puts people at close proximity so we’re using trollies that are available at the crems.

“The family are also not allowed to lower the coffin into the grave because that’s another close congregation of people, so they’re asked to stand back and leave it to the grave diggers and funeral directors to do that.”

Sheila says the new safety measures, while necessary, can make things more difficult for families who have lost loved ones.

“They’re obviously having to decide who is coming to the funeral, and that’s really hard because everyone’s situation is different.

“It’s meant to be just the next of kin but if they don’t have any next of kin then it’s just friends or neighbours but with that restriction of numbers.

“That’s a difficulty though, because part of the funeral is knowing that other people were touched by that person’s life and it can be a really great comfort for loved ones, when they see people making the effort to come along to the funeral.

“But obviously that can’t happen at the moment.

“On a practical level, all the hotels are shut so there’s no catering after a funeral. We’re no longer permitted to supply limousines because that’s putting people in close proximity.

“Our florists are shut so we’re supplying silk flowers for the moment.”

But Sheila says that people are still finding ways to remember those they’ve lost.

“I think people will come up with different ways of commemorating loved ones.

“One thing we’re seeing is that at some point later in the year when restrictions are lifted, some families will have some form of a gathering or a memorial service.

“So they’ll do it all later with a eulogy, photos, and stories, because it can leave you feeling like you haven’t done what you would have liked.Some families are already webcasting funerals online, which allows mourners at home to take part in the service from afar.”

How you can help the bereaved

Fifers have been urged to stop and pay their respects when a funeral cortege passes them in the street.

It’s a throw back to past generations who would always stop and remove their hats in a gesture of respect – and one that shows families people care during this time of lockdown.

Sheila Matthew said: “ “What we’re asking people to do is if they see a hearse, just stop and have a minute as it’s passing, because the families are passing behind hearses in their own cars.

“It is just to acknowledge that it’s a tough time for people at the moment to lose someone. I think people like the idea, because it’s actually something you can do.

“People may not be able to send flowers or be there at the funeral so it’s a way to show they care.”

Funeral services online?

While Fife Council would like to be able to offer it as a service, the local authority says it’s not able to do so at the moment, but will support any families which have their own equipment to do so.

Liz Murphy, bereavement services manager, said: “Funerals, both cremations and burials, are taking place as normal in Fife.

“The only exception is the number of mourners allowed, which is restricted to six people.

“We’re also looking into webcasting funerals but it’s not something that we’re in a position to offer just now.

“However, we are supporting families who have their own equipment and who wish to do this.”