Couple counselling service in Fife

An affair is often considered to be the ultimate deal breaker, but many couples want to work hard to get past this event.

According to Relationship Scotland Fife, an affair can mean different things to different people – for some, it is when a physical relationship has happened,for others, it is flirting at work or sexting, when a so called ‘emotional affair’ is ongoing.

With the right help, and with the willingness of both parties to commit to their relationship, a couple can heal and even be stronger after an affair, offering a real hope to couples in turmoil.

Mieke van der Zijpp from Relationships Scotland - Couple Counselling Fife said: “The word affair is very emotive, and there are different types of betrayal. It doesn’t need to be a full blown, long-term affair to impact on a relationship.

“Sexting, online contact, a one-night stand, a fling or kissing someone on a night out will feel like a betrayal, and can significantly impact on your relationship.

“The person who has been cheated on may be shocked, confused, angry and feel humiliated, and want to know everything about what has happened. The person who has cheated may feel guilty and ashamed, but be defensive and wary about opening up.”

And it’s when couples are stuck that their conversation can go round in circles – either in repeating the same arguments, or not talking at all, and allow mistrust and resentment to kick in, inevitably meaning the problem becomes a point of contention again and again.

Often both parties feel ashamed and don’t open up, even to their closest friends and family – counselling offers a confidential safe space to talk.

“Our counsellors are there to support both of them, there’s no judgement and we don’t take sides,” added Mieke. “Counselling in this scenario can help them work on the hurt and feelings of the affair but would also look at their relationship before it happened and when it was happening.

“Affairs rarely happen when both partners are happy and content in their relationship so it's important to really look at what was happening at that stage, if the issues they were having are still there and then how they can move forward and build a connection again.”

Accessing responsible, affordable counselling is often a stumbling block for couples looking for help. While some might want mediation or even a family contact centre, Relationships Scotland – Couple Counselling Fife concentrates concentrates on couple counselling, meaning its trained counsellors are hugely experienced in this difficult field.

Nothing a couple can say or do will shock them; they will remain neutral and help both parties explore what went wrong and why, and how they can come out the other side with a stronger relationship than ever before.

Mieke added: “Counselling is not about apportioning guilt. It is about acknowledging what has happened, accepting how upsetting it is, but then working together to explore why, and work on saving your relationship.”

The service in Fife offers local, affordable counselling – there is a sliding scale for contributions, making it accessible whatever your financial situation.

As well as offering a message of hope for the future for all couples, they can offer guidance before you are in crisis. Couples counselling can help a happy relationship stay on track, or stop small issues becoming large cracks.

Mieke said: “A couple doesn't need to be in crisis to benefit from counselling.”

You can access help via their website, or call in confidence on 01592 597 444.