Celebs face the Kyle treatment

Jeremy Kyle
Jeremy Kyle
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Allan Crow on the week’s TV highlights

(Thursday/Friday,stv, 2.00 p.m.)

Confessional TV - the staple diet of every afternoon flannel and waffle talk show beamed in front of a nation slumbering half interested on the sofa.

It was, I guess, only a matter of time before Jezza - the king of shouting at and trying to sort out some of our country’s most useless and gormless specimens - went head to head with those poor celebs with problems we’ve already read about in the papers and glossy mags (their biggest problem being they just really can’t step away from that spotlight ...)

So far we’ve had Tara-Palmer Tompkinson, Tito Jackson and Michael Barrymore.

If you thank your lucky stars you missed their ‘‘I’ve been to hell and back’’ tabloid stories - then fill a cuppa, grab the Hobnobs and settle down for the week’s final interviews.

Thursday has Liz Dawn from Corrie talking about cancer, while Friday has Shaun Ryder from the Happy Mondays on his rock ‘n’ excesses.

Normal service for Kyle fans will be resumed every morning.

A Play, A Pie & A Pint

(Friday, BBC2, 10.00 p.m.)
The concept was simple. Stage a play a lunchtime, and chuck in a pie and pint for food/grub.

A decade on, and Oran Mor’s pilot project is going strong and, more importantly, has become a key part of our cultural scene.

This documentary looks back at the brainchild of producer David MacLennan with great contributions from many famous names, including Robbie Coltrane, David Hayman, Liz Lochhead and Bill Paterson.

I Love 1988

(Saturday, BBC2, 8.30 p.m.)
Have to confess this series is great fun - even if the years covered seem to jump about at random.

Last week we got 1980. Tonight it’s a time travelling leap into 1988, the year that gave us Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and those titans of rock ...er, Bros.

But it was a vintage year for pop music.Bet you still all know the words to Tiffany’s hit single ...

The good news is we get slightly cooler music in the TOTP 80s Special which follows ... the uber brilliant Madness, the swagger of Adam Ant, and tha rather strangeness that was Soft Cell are just three of acts to make you feel (ahem) 30 years younger.

Stand By Your Man

(Friday, Channel5, 10.00 p.m.)
Ah dating shows - as if ’Take Me Out’ wasn’t enough (and it is), C5 hops on the romance bandwagon with this noisy little n umber.

Brian McFadden hosts as four guuys have to take part in assoted fun games to impressive 40 woman. Aye, good luck there, guys ...

He roams around the audience for feedback and, at the end, the girls stand next to the bloke they want to date. See the clue was in the title all along ...

Mock The Week

(Thursday, BBC2, 10.00 p.m.)
A welcome return for a series now on permanent play on ‘Dave.’

The usual suspects return for the show whose format really hasn’t changed much since dasy one - just take the headlines, rip ‘em to bits and generate laughs.

It still works because all the panellists are top drawer stand-up comedians.

All StarMr & Mrs

(Wednesday, stv, 8.00 p.m.)
A new series of the programme which, back in the days of the test card, was a cheap-as-chips effort hosted by Derek Batey who used to sign off with ‘‘be n ice to each other.’’ Ah those were the days ...

World Cup

(Daily, BBC/stv, from 7.30 p.m.)
A whole month of football - seriously, next week’s column may be thin on other highlights!