Hello Glastonbury ...

The BBC's Glastonbury line-up
The BBC's Glastonbury line-up
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Allan Crow on the week’s TV highlights

(From Friday, BBC2/3,4 & on red button from 7.00 p.m.)

It’s on my bucket list - the one festival I’ve yet to see that I really would endure a weekend of rain, mud and mayhem just to bore folk to death by saying ‘‘oh yeah, saw ‘em at Glasto...’’

It’s the king of festivals - and one that really puts T In The Park into context, and firmly into the shade.

It isn’t just the line-up that is better, it’s the whole ethos. This, dear TITP people, is how festivals should be curated.

Just look at the highlights.

There’s wee Paolo Nutini next to the rousing Kaiser Chiefs, while over yonder Elbow bring their glorious, miserable music to the masses.

Then there’s Mogwai and Metallica, plus the suave uber-coolness of Sir Bryan of Ferry, the Manic Street Preachers and the utterly wonderful Robert Plant.

Oh yes, and don’t forget Kasabian who brought their Glasto-esque show to the Alhmbra in Dunfermline the other week and just about shook the brickwork loose with an absolutely cracking gig.

Not content with dishing up Wimbledon and the World Cup, the Beeb is packing its camper van and heading down to Worthy Farm for coverage that can only be described as awesomely comprehensive.

If you want the full Glasto experience, fill your conservatory with mud, sleep in a pop-up tent and pour beer on your Frosties ... and enjoy the very, very best music around.

Me, I’ll just opt out of Chiles, the boy Lineker and company for a few hours and listen with the sound turned up slightly louder than is absolutely necessary.

Let’s rock...

This Old Thing: The Vintage Clothes Show

(Wednesday, Channel4, 8.00 p.m.)
Dawn O’Porter - she used to be just ‘Dawn Porter’ - hosts this rather light fashion show which celebrates all things vintage.

But there’s fitba on ... so we can probably forget about it for another few weeks ...

I Belong To Glasgow

(Friday, BBC1, 10.35 p.m.)
A new four-part series celebrates the second city of the empire and its enduring appeal. Ooh the banter...

It kicks-off with comedienne Karen Dunbar.

It’ll Be Alright On The Night

(Friday, stv, 9.00 p.m.)
I was still a youngster when this series first burst on to our screens, and it’s still going strong.

Dennis Norden’s sardonic wit has long since been replaced by Griff Rhys Jones’ hosting skills, but, other than that, little has changed as we see the bloopers reels and out-takes from news shows.

Yeah it’s funny, but surely the law of diminishing returns must apply sooner rather than later.

Beauty Queen Or Bust

(Thursday, Channel4, 9.00 p.m.)
A new series which looks behind the scenes at Miss World - and how the bid to win the crown starts with regional heats where the glamour and glitz are perhaps in short supply.

To be honest, in 2014 is there any need for a Miss World at all?

Surely all previous winners have delivered on their vows to save the whale and end world poverty?

Shopkeepers: True Story Of Life Behind The Couter

(Tuesday, BBC2, 9.00 p.m.)

Nope, not another fly on the wall documentary, but an exploration of the history of the changing face behind the counter.

Historian Pamela Cox takes a trip back across 150 years of retail service.


(Sunday, BBC2, from 10.45 a.m.)
Oh, almost forgot. Wimbledon is on this week.

‘Mon Andy ...