It's no joke for Father's Day!

With their mathematical mindsets sitting perpendicular to their funny bones, the number boffins at MBNA know a thing or two about bad jokes. But this Father's Day, they've managed to use it to their advantage ...

Sunday, 19th June 2016, 10:00 am
Updated Monday, 20th June 2016, 6:48 pm
Formula created for dad jokes
Formula created for dad jokes

Analysing some of the very best dad jokes around, they’ve cracked the secret formula behind that devil-may-care approach to comic timing and wit that all dads have, to bring you this formula for creating the best dad joke.

Using this scientifically proven dad joke formula, you are guaranteed to raise a smile ...

The formula is: [N x P (Pn-{S+W})] = MxC2/A

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N = Non sequitar (An anything but seamless transition to the unrelated topic of the dad joke.)

p = Paronomasia (A play on words or pun that usually prompts an agonising groan from listeners).

S = Style (A manner of writing or speaking and a physical attribute lost on most fathers as soon as their first born arrives).

W = Wit (Often claimed by those who use poorly-substituted, cheap, bawdy puns).

M = Mild Amusement (Not to be confused with genuine enjoyment).

C = Cringe-factor (Toe-curling awkardness experienced by those pretending to have a good time).

A = Annoyance (A sense that time has been wasted with no discernible gain).

n = The nth degree (Too much. An exponential amount of terribleness).

Here is a list of 10 of the best (worst) Dad Jokes based on this formula, for fathers to try at home and disappoint a whole new generation of children.

1. Child: I’m hungry

Dad: Nice to meet you Hungry, I’m Dad.

2. Child: I feel like an ice cream

Dad: You don’t look like one!

3. Child: ‘Dad, make me a sandwich!’

Dad: (waves hands) ‘Abracadabra, you’re a sandwich!’”

4. Child: Did you get a haircut?

Dad: No, I got them all cut.

5. Child: What’s the time?

Dad: (looks at wrist) time you got a watch

6. Dad: How old are you now, eight?

Child: No, higher!

Dad: (puts on high pitched voice) eight!

7. Child: Dad, do you know what?

Dad: No, but I know his brother, Who.

8. Child: What was the movie about?

Dad: About an hour and a half.

9. Child: Are you alright?

Dad: No, I’m half left

10. Child: Have you seen my phone?

Dad: Yes, loads of times.