By Allan Crow
(Saturday, BBC1, 7.00 p.m.)
The Gods of TV are truly smiling upon us this winter.
First they gave us Celeb BB and Splash! and then they chucked in ‘Take Me Out.’
‘‘No more!’’ we cried. ‘‘Our Sky+ is full of wondrous shows . We shall not leave our homes until spring!’’
And did the Gods relent? Pah, they gave us the joy that is The Voice UK - the show that desperately doesn’t want to be XFactor when, in fact, that is really all it is.
Kylie Minogue and Ricky Wilson are the new judges in the spinning chairs, but once they turn round it’s just another bloated and very, very dull singing contest.
Can you name last season’s winner? Nope, neither can I.
Celebrity Big Brother
(Friday, Channel5, 9.00 p.m.) Confession time - I watched the opening night and sat dumbfounded at this year’s housemates who were then immediately cuffed together in pairs.
They asked Linda Nolan who she would loathe as a housemate and no sooner had she muttered ‘‘Jim Davidson’’ than the grim old 70s comic popped up on stage.
True, that’s genius!!
Outwith the usual glamour models and fake reality show contestants, this might be car crash telly worth keeping a lazy eye on.
(Wednesday, BBC1, 8.30 p.m.) Another new term - sorry, series - for the classroom soap which is now into its umpteenth series and showing no signs of ending.
Pretty much every drama and plot has been covered, but ‘Waterloo’ remains good midweek escapist nonsense.
Hens Behaving Badly
(Wednesday, Channel5, 10.30 p.m.) Just what we need - a fly on the wall series following groups of women on a hen do.
I think we can safely assume this will be loud, brash, a bit vulgar and the shrieking will probably give us a headache before bedtime.
(Saturday, BBC1, 6.15 p.m.) The Beeb are still tackling the thorny issue of how to fill that Saturday tea-time until Peter Capaldi has fully generatd into the next Dr Who.
The latest offering is another light game show with the ever chirpy Shane Ritchie as MC testing people’s reactions.
Fear not - the Tardis shall be along soon.
(Saturday, Channel4, 8.00 p.m.) Slightly meatier offering from C4 as it plunders the excellent vaults of American drama for this new series.
Toni Collette stars as a surgeon appointed to operate on the US president, onlt for masked men to break into her home the night before she takes up her scalpel, hold her family hostage and threaten to kill them unless she follows their demands.
Shades of ‘24’ ... and definitely worth checking out.
Born To Be Wild: The Golden Age Of American Rock
(Friday, BBC4, 9.00 p.m.) A wonderful three-part series celebrating the very best of American rock through the decades, so strap on your grooviest rock gear and get ready to hit the highway.
The series kicks-off in the 1960s when we all wore flowers in our hair and grooved to Jefferson Airplane. The Doiors, Grateful Dead and many more.
Great music, fabulous interviews and lots of trips back in time to leave the oldest rockers totally chilled for the weekend.
And there’s more...
How about a profile of the master, Jimi Hendrix?
‘The Road To Woodstock’ forms part two of tonight’s trilogy, and then we get the story of The Doors making their 1971 album.
Rock on ...!