Column: The Lockdown Diaries (Volume One)
Welcome to the Lockdown Diaries: Volume One.
It’s day five, possibly six – we kinda lost count last Thursday.
My other half’s dining room table now doubles as an office for both of us, although the mahoosive monitor I took from my desk has made it a two-thirds-one third split.
I’m closest to the kitchen so I’m on tea duties, but we’ve yet to solve the most pressing issue of not being able to see the telly.
Judging by the utter crud on it, maybe that’s not such a bad thing after all.
I looked up the other morning and was greeted by the alarming sight of the Green Goddess leading a fitness class while leaning against the sort of seat your grandfather used to occupy while reading his paper.
I fear the nation is one step away from Dame Vera Lynne leading a communal singing of ‘We’ll Meet Again’ to keep spirits up.
Somewhere, a bunting manufacturer is already planning ahead to the party which marks the return to normality – the one hosted live from Wembley by the BBC and featuring all the ‘national treasurers’ you’ve not really missed that much.
And if there is one staged in London, you can be sure we’ll get the all-tartan Scottish opt-out edition with Aly Bain and Phil Cunningham, Lulu, Jackie Bird at the helm, and Paulo Nutini, if anyone knows his whereabouts these days.
The blueprint is there to be brushed down and tweaked. Anyone recall Theresa May’s Brexit Festival to celebrate Farage Day? Aye, that one ...
And maybe we do need a wee party to revive the spirits of this nation after months spent binge-watching boxsets and eating our body weight in salt and vinegar Pringles.
But, I’m not entirely sure what sort of society we will emerge into when this state of suspension finally ends.
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The positive side points to one where people care more about others, where community spirit is strengthened and we create new, simpler, more sustainable ways of operating.
The flip side is we gorge on everything we missed, and become even more materialistic than we were before. Denied all those nights out, live events, festivals and sporting memories, we plunge head first into the lot and end up paying a price – not just financially – a bit further down the line.
Re-starting this country isn’t going to be easy.
A bit like a learner driver trying a hill start for the very first time, we may need to find a balance – a gradual easing of the restrictions to manage our return, blinking into the sunshine, after months in captivity.
Maybe parts of lockdown will stay with us.
Would it be so bad if we all made daily calls to our loved ones, friends and neighbours, and a daily walk or workout became the norm?
There is a long way to go yet until we can fully assess how lives will change. Lockdown is in its early days and still a bit of a novelty, and I expect that to change as time crawls very slowly.
Stay home, stay safe and save lives – and find new ways of keeping mind and body positive, folks.