I went on my first mystery bus tour and found places in Scotland I’d never been to

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Have bus pass, will travel. One of the few perks of getting old and cracking 60 is that a whole new world opens up. The bus timetable is your pathway to unexplored towns and cities.

I used to jump on the old Buzz Buses when I first came to Kirkcaldy - from memory the fare was something 40p from Chapelhill down to the High Street - but I rarely set foot on a bus again until last year when my magic wee pass popped through the letterbox. Now, I rarely step on to a train, preferring to take the bus to and from Edinburgh for gigs or days out. The X60 and me are old buddies now!

I guess without a bus pass, my response to my wife asking “shall we book a mystery coach trip” would have been very different. That’s why on Sunday we were at Halbeath Park & Ride bright and early to step into a whole new world of adventure and exploration.

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When the bus simply says “mystery trip” you start to ponder your destinations - I reckoned Pitlochry, the staple of all coach tours, or maybe a wee birl down to Berwick. Realising the coach had come via Dundee and Perth meant a quick recalibration as we ruled out everything north of Fife.

A magical mystical bus tour to Luss and Inverary (pics: Fife Free Press)A magical mystical bus tour to Luss and Inverary (pics: Fife Free Press)
A magical mystical bus tour to Luss and Inverary (pics: Fife Free Press)

Still, I didn’t have Bathgate on my bus bingo card - thankfully just a pick-up point - or Falkirk which is probably the last place on earth any Fifer would want to explore on a Sunday. Or any day for that matter.

Turns out it was the driver’s first mystery trip too, and I was heartened they’d at least told him his end destination otherwise this could have been a very long road to nowhere.

We set off along the M8 for a day out that the younger me would have snorted at with derision. How uncool is a busload of old folk armed with flasks, pre-packed sandwiches - cue the unmistakable aroma of Branston pickle! - and some boiling sweeties to sook? As Huey Lewis once sang, it’s hip to be square.

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Sign posts for Oban gave us a clue, and our first stop was Luss where they once filmed Take The High Road, although the only hint of the glory days of our ain wee soap was a modest plaque at the gift shop which said this was used as the Blairs’ shop. Sadly, there’s no lifesize statue to Dougal Lachlan or Inverdarroch, while no-one strolled around dressed in costume as Mrs Mack. They’re missing a trick up there y’know judging by the numbers milling around on a dreich Scottish day in February …

From there it was a wee birl up the road to Inverary for some excellent food, and a wee mooch around the distinctive black and white buildings of the High Street.I’d never been before - it’s down for a return, and longer, visit.

The trip departed at 9:00am, got back at 7:15pm with a photo-op at Rest And Be Thankful. The cost? A tenner!

That’s a more than decent price for a day out. The scenery - stunning and ever changing - came free. I suspect this won’t be my last birl round this country.

Better stock up on Werthers Originals and invest in a flask and a travelling rug … we got lots to see.

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