By Dawn Renton
I had an epiphany the other night dear readers which happened as I was watching the Banger Sisters.
Now, for those that have not seen the film, here is a quick synopsis: Lavinia (also known as Vinnie) and Suzette, are former rock groupies and best friends who reconnect after twenty years apart.
Suzette is still as wild as ever, while Vinnie has adopted a more conservative life-style and they end up finding out who they really are.
Straight away I connected with Suzette. Someone who has a Jim Morrison tattoo is instantly cool in my eyes.
She’s a free spirit, not afraid to speak her mind and lives her life exactly as she wants to.
And that is my epiphany; to grow old disgracefully.
Who cares if you have grey hair, bad eyesight, false teeth and can’t walk three feet without the aid of a zimmer frame?
Being blonde, I probably already have my fair share of grey hair you just can’t seem them, I already wear glasses and I know that I can rock the hell out of a zimmer frame.
If I ever get to the stage that the dreaded grey are noticable, my plan is to dye my hair the brightest colour I can get my wee mitts on.
You can’t help but notice Zandra Rhodes shocking pink tresses or my idol and the first lady of punk, Vivienne Westwood’s bright day-glo orange mane so I know that I would be in great company with my new ‘do’.
Wasn’t it Dr Suess who said “Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”
And that will be my mantra as I get to my old age.
Forget knitting, playing bridge or enjoying a nice cup of tea while watching reruns of the Last of the Summer Wine at the weekends or watching Countdown while dozing on the chair.
No, not this lass.
You will find me, as always, swooning over some half-starved, floppy-haired, guitar-wielding rock boy and dancing away down the front at the nearest gig as much as my hip replacement will allow.
I would like to say that I’d be down the front still making eyes at Sir Mick Jagger, but the chances of him still living until I’m in my old age are pretty much slim to none... (although Keef will no doubt outlive us all).
I will, of course, embarrass my family by running around in band t-shirts, ripped jeans and biker boots but that’s okay, I make them blush deep red just now as it is so at least they know what to expect when I pick up my bus pass and my pension.
There will also be no nips or tucks either. Bring on the wrinkles, frown lines and crow’s feet I say.
Another quote I like to try and live my life by is that of Mr Bob Dylan: “A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do”.
Good advice your Bobness and what I plan to do is just exactly what I do right now.
I vow here in this column that I will not change as I get older.
I have no desire whatsoever to buy a twinset or comfortable, sensible shoes. How boring is that?
I will still be weird, free spirited and doing exactly what I please.
Here’s to growing old disgracefully. Cheers!