Halloween dilemmas and alternative film titles

Maggie Millar
Maggie Millar

I’ve been spending the past week getting organised for Halloween. Or more precisely being ordered to get organised by two young kids (who happen to be still on British Summer Time)

Monday at 6.00 a.m. daughter (3) says “I want to be a scary Princess Elsa.”

Son (6) says : “I want to be purple man - have you got my face paint yet?”

Tuesday 6.00 a.m. “I want to be spiderman, no batman...no, spiderman.”

Followed by: “But you’re a girl! Have you got my face paint yet? It has to be the proper purple. ”

Wednesday 6.00 a.m. “I’ve changed my mind - I want to be a girl batman.

“Just be batgirl”

“No! Batman!”

“Mum, I don’t want to be purple man any more. Can we do something else? ”

Strewth...I haven’t even started on the pumpkins.

Film titles: Has anyone seen Spectre yet? After Skyfall I fell back into the bosom of the Bond franchise but I’m hearing Sam Mendes’ latest offering fails to live up to expectations.

Reading the reviews aloud to my better half did lead to some diverting film title talk though.

Alternative film names for food lovers? ‘Lord of the Onion Rings’ and ‘Black Pudding Down’.

Those who like good drink? ‘Silence of the Lambrusco.’

Suffering from piles? ‘The Grapes of Wrath’

It was all getting a bit silly and we ran out of ideas but later that night our daughter picked up her (sizeable) collection of plush rabbits to take to bed.

“There’s so many of those rabbits, I swear they’re breeding,” I said.

“Yeah, it’s from Hare to Maternity!” said the other half.

Roll end credits please.