How to get rid of nuisance calls

So it was a great pleasure recently when visiting a friend that I got to hear how he deals with these pests.

To see my friend try and stifle fits of laughter as he fed these crooks a pack of lies just made my day.

As he, let’s call him Tom, answered his phone and realised it was a scam call about a fake traffic accident (Tom doesn’t even drive), he put it on speakerphone so we could all enjoy the gag.

Caller: “So, did you know that you can claim compensation for that accident you had?”

Tom: “No. Do you mean I can get cash for this?”

Caller: “Definitely, we know this wasn’t your fault. When did the accident happen?”

Tom: “Dunno, I was pretty drunk.”

Caller: “Um, ok, but it wasn’t your fault, right?”

Tom: “No, they had no excuse for not seeing me coming, as I was swerving all over the road.”

Caller: “Right ... So do you remember the type of car the other party was driving?”

Tom: “Yes, it began with a ‘P’ I think.”

Caller: “um ... Peugeot?”

Tom: “No, police car.”

Caller: “You hit a police car?!? So you were arrested?”

Tom: “Nah, I managed to drive off before they knew what was happening. So I can get compensation for this?”

Caller: “You haven’t really had an accident, have you?”

Tom: “Of course I haven’t, but everytime I tell you that you keep calling me back anyway. Maybe now you’ll leave me alone.”

Apparently Tom hasn’t had a cold call since.