My Week

Maggie Millar
Maggie Millar

With Maggie Millar

When Lord Sugar bypasses cupcakes and takes a punt on a botox business , you know the face of The Apprentice has been subject to some harsh treatment. Is it just me, or has the ‘process’ just been injectedwith a heavy dose of reality? Heaven forbid. The whole joy about that programme was the fact that viewers could laugh at the hapless antics of a bunch of bumbling go-getters as they put their self professed ‘world-conquering’ skills to such epic tasks as selling smelly cheese at a stall in Camden and caravans at the NEC - while all the time viewers shouted at the screen: “I could do better than that! Not this time though. Uber-Barbie Dr Leah Totton brought glacial determination to the boardroom and with laser-like powers zapped her enemies into oblivion. I have no doubt she and Sugar will make mountains of cash but last week’s final left my face feeling a little frozen.

Exam howlers: Not so after hearing about some of the gems released by university exam markers last week. According to one biology student, sex was discovered by Darwin in the 1800s and Spanish dictator General Franco was “supported by right-wing panties.” In another paper a student revealed that “Nigella seeds can cure all disease except death” while another suggested that “Ebola could lead to death, in some cases fatal”. Good as these examples are though they don’t quite conjure the class of our American counterparts and their knowledge of European culture. Years ago, when the G8 summit took place in Scotland, a BBC reporter asked some random punter in New York what he thought about Gleneagles. “He’s a very good actor, “ was the reply. Straight off, when asked who painted the Sistine Chapel, he shot back:“That’s easy! Leonardo Di Caprio”.

God bless America.

This week: Wondering whether a Daphne Guiness ‘skunk’ hair-do is the only way to cover grey hairs....