I went to Edinburgh’s Christmas Market – and this is why it was all a bit rubbish

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My wife and I were planning a wee day out in Edinburgh specifically to see the Christmas Market on Princes Street, and enjoy the buzz of the festivities. Just as well as we didn’t - even with a free bus pass I’d have been asking for my money back. In the capital to meet up with family, we nipped in … and straight back out.

I’ve always thought the market was both over-rated and over-priced, but now its novelty has waned to the point it all feels kinda, well, rubbish.

Rewind to 1999 and the first German market in the capital. Mistletoe and gluhwein… now, that was exciting and different. Together with live shows and stalls in St Andrews Square and a buzz around George Street, it was a genuine day out.

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It’s easy to get wrapped in the nostalgia of it all and bemoan that things today just aren’t the same, but when it comes to the Christmas Market in Edinburgh, that’s the problem. It IS the same. Every. Bloomin’. Year. The same set up, the same stalls, the same attractions. The same prices that make you laugh out loud and not in a ‘ho ho ho! kinda way.

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas ... is it? (*Pics: Allan Crow)It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas ... is it? (*Pics: Allan Crow)
It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas ... is it? (*Pics: Allan Crow)

C’mon Edinburgh, my home city - you can do better than this. Much better.

The setting is without equal. A garden in the heart of the city centre in the shadow of the Scott Monument and yards from the train station. It ought to be magical for all ages.

Trips to the Christmas Market used to be a whole day out when we’d wander along the different levels browsing the stalls and trying not to splutter when we got a waffle and realised that a tenner wouldn’t cover it thanks to the strawberry on top - and I mean strawberry, singular, cut into slices so fine they were translucent.

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At times it was rammed so full it felt scary. That may explain why the lower walkway isn’t used anymore, but it just looks empty and rather sad. A doughnut shaped market with nothing in the middle. Gone are the grotto, the ice bar, the wee train rides and even the ‘ice’ rink that was like skating on bumpy plastic sheets. They’d be as well restoring the old putting green that used to be there…

We followed the directions to the Market Street entrance, found half a dozen wee stalls and a snow globe for photos, and then had the long walk back right round the gardens, just to get back to the top level, and there was nothing to see except for a giant ‘Edinburgh’ sign. Clearly aimed at the selfie generation, it has more than a whiff of ‘Reggie Perrin Sunshine Desserts’ rather than ‘hooray for Hollywood.’

The west gardens were even worse. A single strand of lights above endless crash barriers holding back nothing other than trees, a miserable and empty Ross Bandstand, and then a small fairground at the very end. It felt like the set for one of those budget Christmas movies you can see on Channel5.

Walk another ten minutes and you came across St John’s Church market packed with creatives selling their own products. Shouldn’t Princes Street also be doing that?

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Maybe Edinburgh needs to rip up its tired old blueprint, and look to Hamburg which does festive markets, plural, dotted around the city, and each set up in a way to look enticing, and infused with the spirit of Christmas.

And I’m pretty sure we didn’t pay 13 quid for bratwurst and chips either …

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