Kirkcaldy dad on devastating loss of his son as town hosts meeting on male suicide

The death of the 19-year touched everyone across Kirkcaldy. There are still floral tributes on the grass verge at Oriel Road, while an online fundraiser which set a target of £1000 raised over £9000. Four months on, it has prompted a new series of public discussions in the Lang Toun which are open to all. Quite simply, we need to talk.

Kirkcaldy has experienced the loss of several young men, and there is a sense that more needs to be done to make them aware of the support available, and encourage them to discuss their mental health openly.

“We Need To Talk About Male Suicide” has been organised by mental health academics at Dundee University’s School of Health Sciences, based in Forth Avenue on Wednesday, January 29 at 6:00pm. Admission is free with tickets available here.

Paul Smith, mental health lecturer, said: “We want this to be an open conversation, for people to come along and share their stories, learn where support exists and how people can help themselves or the ones we love. There will be no lecturing and no judgement.”

The initiative has the backing of Jamie’s family.

His dad, David, said that there was an urgent need for people to be aware of the support services should they have concerns for their own welfare, or somebody around them.

He said: “I am a grieving dad. We need more focus on suicide and funding for services to support people affected by it. Social media also plays a big part. People are taking their lives at a young age and this is having a devastating impact on families and communities. There is a big picture here that needs to be highlighted.

“We need to encourage more men to open up. Just talk. It can be good to get things off your chest and to share. Talk to a family member, a friend, your manager at work or lecturer. Tell them how you are feeling.”

Jamie’s death prompted a huge community response both on the streets for his funeral, and across social media where there were hundreds of messages posted.

David said: “I would like to say thank you to the people of Kirkcaldy for their love, support and help. We have been grateful for everyone who has been in touch. The messages and flowers, cards and donations have shown how many lives Jamie touched and that has been a great comfort.

“He was the life and soul of every party. He often gave the impression that nothing phased him, because he was a man, because he was strong, but obviously it did. I think that is often part of the problem for men. We are a lot deeper than we often let on.”

And that last observation is why the town is now hosting a public discussion on what is a difficult and sensitive subject.

The University of Dundee is opening the doors of its campus in the town to bring together charities and agencies that work with men, their families and friends, to provide advice and raise awareness of the subject.

Mr Smith said that showcasing local support services could prevent avoidable loss of life and encourage more men to discuss their mental health openly.

“Sadly, male suicide is something that has deeply affected both the University and local community in recent times,” he said. “The impact of these tragedies are profound and have highlighted the urgent need to help men who feel they have nobody or nowhere to turn to.

“The university is uniquely placed in Kirkcaldy to bring together many of the support services that exist in the town. As a base for our mental health courses, myself and colleagues are also able to share our own insights and experiences.

“This is an event for all of the public. We want to create a safe, open space for the local community to come along and learn more about a subject we should not and cannot ignore. If you feel like there is nowhere to turn or are concerned for someone you care about, we want to reassure you that there are people here in Kirkcaldy who want to help.”

Attending the event will be representatives of several support groups and charities involved with bereavement and suicide, as well as university staff from the School of Health Sciences.

The lecturers want this to be a Kirkcaldy event, for the people of the town to help prevent further tragedies. It will also be the first in a series of events organised by staff to highlight health issues directly affecting people in the town. We need to talk and this is the perfect opportunity to open up, and to listen.