Kirkcaldy Esplanade carpark: a grim, miserable place with more spaces than cars

It was Monday, late morning and the High Street was busy enough, but the cars parked in it might just have filled a transporter or two.

It’d be wrong to say it was empty - but only just.

We parked on the ground floor where I counted half a dozen cars. On the way out, we drove up one floor for a neb, and found it empty, save for the wee car behind us which headed to an upper level.

Having worked in the town centre with access to our own parking facility for so long, I’d forgotten how muddled and out of date Kirkcaldy’s parking strategy is.

We had a meeting arranged, and Plan A was to park in Charlotte Street and walk along to the pedestrianised zone. It had plenty of empty spaces, but it also had a problem - a one hour time limit which was going to be tight, and much as I love supporting the town centre, I draw the line at chucking £30 into the council’s coffers by way of a ticket.

I’ve never understood why Kirkcaldy didn’t embrace pay on exit years ago. In failing to do so, it’s probably now not an option given the woeful usage figures. The toon cooncil faithers messed up years ago and we’re stuck with it. This one is on them.

Plan B - a spin round the waterfront to see what is available and, if nothing jumped out, a quick dash along the Esplanade, hanging on to my hat as we flew across that ridiculous ramp at Volunteers Green - seriously, who thought that was a remotely good idea? - and whizz in and out of the free car parks opposite Dunelm Mill and Food Warehouse, pray for a space, and then sprint like Linford Christie back to make our meeting.

That’s where the multi-storey came into play, and boy what a miserable place it is. How can a building so ugly command such stunning views?

There is nothing remotely welcoming about the multi-storey car park. Its concrete brutality is all around, and then you encounter the staircase which leads to an area so grim it’s a wonder no-one as thought about using it as the backdrop to a post-nuclear survival film.

Head upwards and you realise that the walkway that leads to the Mercat is again boarded up. Head down and you found yourself stuck between the two multi-storeys with just the lights from the Shopmobility office which offer the same illumination as a 40-watt light bullb.

It’s beyond grim, but that is the view we provide as a welcome to anyone arriving in town. No life, no colour, no vitality, no warmth - just a concrete mess that looked old and tired in the 1980s.

But, four decades on, the ugly sisters still stand tall, still dominate the landscape, and still occupy land that could - and should - do so much more for our town centre.

I wonder what the takings were for the Esplanade car park on Monday? Enough to pay for lights being switched on? My two quid barely touched the sides of that utility bill alone.

This week’s reports on possible demolition must lead to action, and a modern approach to car parking that is fit for the town and for the visitors and residents who want to use it.