The Aye, Ken column: Gull-huggers, bus buddies, sausage rolls

An artist's impression showing how Roseanna Cunningham and Fiona Hyslop got to their launch events.
An artist's impression showing how Roseanna Cunningham and Fiona Hyslop got to their launch events.

Funny things we’ve noticed this week.

Fare cost for taxpaers

Fife’s been busy over the past few weeks, you simply can’t move for Scottish Government Ministers launching something or other.

Last week two came over from Edinburgh on the same day and same time. With Roseanna Cunningham at a launch in St Andrews and Fiona Hyslop at another in Anstruther, did they share a limo?

We like to think they saved the taxpayer and just got the same bus (pictured), since the X60 covers both desintations.

School’s back – so what’s next?

Our youngsters head back to school next week,and that guarantees two things.

One, summer will kick in and Scotland will endure a heatwave; two, advertising will turn to Christmas, after all, only 136 days to go!

Taste sensation

Grapes which taste like candy floss? Our team had to give them a go – and they blew our minds. Not only did they have the burnt sugary taste, they also had the smell!

How long is a foot long?

How long is too long? When it comes to sausage rolls, we at the Fife Free Press are no longer sure. The reactions in the office to the announcement of the new super-size sausage roll ranged from amazement to questioning why such a thing would be created. It also led to the question: how long is a foot? One reporter posed this question to the room. The answer is: we’re not sure. Each member of the team had a different answer, all equally as wrong. Is it about the length of a forearm? Or a foot? The latter suggestion led to the reporter who posed the question attempting to measure their own foot.

Less love-a-duck, more hug-a-gull

Coastal communities from Kirkcaldy to St Andrews are being attacked by marauding seagulls – and they are all coming up with different solutions.

Herring gulls are the guilty parties, but they are protected, so any “positive” action has to be officially sanctioned.

Removing nests from buildings, protective material on roofs and even shooting the pesky predators has been suggested.

But in St Andrews residents are being urged to live and let live – in other words don’t feed them, don’t give them access to food, and generally ignore them.