The seagull which stole the show ...!

A seagull (not necessarily the one off the telly!)
A seagull (not necessarily the one off the telly!)

There’s a last-minute candidate standing in Kirkcaldy - me! I’m fighting the election on a ‘Get The Seagulls Out’ ticket. I expect to win by a landslide.

The winged neds and I have history.

Last summer one of them stalked me along the High Street and swooped with military precision right down my shoulder, and snatched the baguette I was carrying clean out of its paper bag.

My lunch went soaring into the air before being dropped on to the zebra crossing where the ned’s pack of hingers-on fought over it. I was so hungry I was tempted to dive in and battle them for a crust. Okay, it’s undignified behaviour, but separate a man from his sandwich and you cross a line ...

Today they struck once more - this time while I was live on the telly.

And thanks to the joys of social media the moment was captured and shared ... and shared again ... and again ...

Picture the scene. BBC are in town doing some General election stuff, keen to find out the fate of Gordon Brown’s old seat in the wake of the in support for the SNP.

There I was chatting to Ben Brown live - trying not to a) mumble b) cough or c) get run over by the cars driving out of the pedestrianised zone.

Only back in the office did I see what had been happening behind us - thanks to a Vine posted by various folk, including BBC Politics. At the last glance it’d been shared over 350 times!

And with my surname you could write your own jokes ...

As for that seagull, its days are numbered ...